ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Testing layout.

2009-07-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

Manarie li que vaqeriao |At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Yoii rockem sockem mow-em yown. Manarie li que vaqeriao.

Occae et harumb bet theap. Est praesent luptatum. Ha! Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Yoii rockem sockem mow-em yown. Manarie li que vaqeriao. Occae et harumb bet theap. Est praesent luptatum. Dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae.

Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Yoii rockem sockem mow-em yown. Manarie li que vaqeriao. Occae et harumb bet theap. Est praesent luptatum. Ha! Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct.

it's a weird, weird world.

2008-09-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

i got this from my lovely cousin gwacie =p

Number 10: Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."
(LIKE OMGWTFBBQ YOU'D EVER EAT WHAT YOU F*CKED?!)

Number 9: In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(i wonder why)

Number 8: In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(isn't that a tad bit dangerous? i mean, for all the f*ck's sake he could've screwed up her g-spot or something)

Number 7: Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or a piece of wood at all times.
(you mean like a brick BRICK? O.o)

Number 6: The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is capitation.
(LIKE PEOPLE WOULD KNOW YOU MASTURBATE. idiots.)

Number 5: There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(well i guess if there's such law here, sex maniacs can have a job too! yayy! -_-")

Number 4: In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
(...)

Number 3: Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
(so i guess the tropical fish stores in liverpool will always be swarmed by horny men who have no intention of buying any fish)

Number 2: In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(can you say, family bonding?! aww...)

And the weirdest law in the world is...

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(that would be VERY disgusting)

whee.

2008-08-31T13:42:00.000+08:00

JOIN. NOW. it's a chance for you to win a VAIO. oh and also so I could get passports hehe.

2006-06-06T12:31:00.000+08:00

moved.

i found a new place. email me for the new add.

ta.

merry meet.

2006-05-06T14:02:00.000+08:00

i miss these little rascals. they used to jump and knock over our heads when we're taking naps in the living room. they were the luckiest male cats in the world because they were surrounded by ~~adorable, beautiful, sweet~~ (lol) girls who loved them so much and of course, they got to take naps with us as well =p

oh and check out my lair at the new house!

time to get back to work. i swear i'd crash my bed early today *yawns*

sleepy head.

2006-04-30T15:38:00.000+08:00

my shoulders and arms are aching. i feel like there's a heavy weight on my shoulders and my arms feel like they're gonna fall off.

i'm not in the mood for blogging right now *yawns*

good enough.

2006-04-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

It seems the more we talk
The less I have to say
Let's put our differences aside

I wanted to make you proud
But I just got in your way
I found a place that I can hide

Now everything is changing
But I still feel the same
Are we running out of time

What do I have to do
To try to make you see
That this is who I am
And it's all that I can be

I tried to find myself
Looking inside your eyes
You were all that I wanted to be

There must be something else
Behind all the lies
That you wanted me to believe

Now everyone is saying
That I should find a way
To leave it all behind

What do I have to do
To try and make you see
That this is who I am
And it's all that I can be

What do I have to do

(I tried to find myself, looking inside your eyes, you were all that I wanted to be)

To try to make you see
Trying to be like you
Isn't good enough for me

And I won't let you go
And I won't let you down
I won´t give you up
Don't you give up on me now

What do I have to do
To try and make you see
That this is who I am
And this is all that I can be

What do I have to do
(I tried to find myself, looking inside your eyes, you were all that I wanted to be)

To try to make you see
Trying to be like you
Wasn't good enough for me

why am i beginning to fail so much?

a long survey.

2006-04-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

taken from fu.CK board
Would you rather:

{ } ask someone out
{x} be asked out

{x} be poor and live till you're 100
{ } be rich and live till you're 30

{ } be blind
{x} be deaf

{x} have it be winter all year round
{ } have it be summer all year round

{ } be beautiful
{x} be loved

{x} take a bath
{ } take a shower

{x} be born poor and die rich
{ } be born rich and die poor

{ } never have to go to school
{x} never have to go to the doctor's/dentists

{ } never feel physical pain
{x} never feel emotional pain

{x} wear glasses/contacts
{ } wear braces

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'X' WHAT YOU HAVE DONE...

(x)Slept all night in a bed with a person of the opposite sex
(x)Slept all night in a bed with a person of the same sex
(x) Slept for more than 12 hours
(x) Missed a week of school or more
(x) Put lip gloss on more than 5 times in an hour
( ) Kissed more than two people in a day
( )Created a myspace survey
( ) Eaten a worm
(x) Jumped on a trampoline
( ) Ridden a unicycle
(x) Done something special for someone else
(x) Paid more than $50 for food at a fast food restaurant
(x) Got caught for cheating in a game
( ) Talked on the phone while in the shower
(x) Brushed your teeth while on the phone
( ) Worked in fast food place
(x) Written a poem
(x) Randomly called people out of a phone book
(x) Been on a yacht
(x) Put bananas in your cheerios
(x) Lied to a friend to make them feel better
(x) Dated someone more than 1 years older than you
( ) Eaten frosting out of the original container
( ) Had a dream about a myspace friend
(x) Fallen in public
( ) Recently had a PB&J sadnwich
( ) Met your principals parents
( ) Killed an animal
(x) Wished you were an only child
( ) Used your friends razor with out them knowing
(x) Been unproud of a decision you made
( ) Worked for a family member
(x) Been told you were too young
( ) Made out in a car
( ) Kissed a friend, then their best friend.
(x) Been to a concert
(x) Gotten away with a lie to your parents
( ) Been dumped the night of a dance and left with out a date
(x) Been cheated on
( ) Gone out with a person one of your parents set you up with
(x) Hate to admit you are wrong
(x) Ridden on a shopping cart
(x) danced in a grocery store
( ) Went into a mini mart in socks
(x) Worn a tiara
(x) Been in a play
(x) Gone to church/temple more than 2 times in a week
( ) Made a movie
( ) Dressed gothic
(x) Worn 5 or more layers of clothing
( ) Lived on a house boat
(X) Swam in clear blue water
( ) Ran across 6 lanes of traffic
(X) Made fish lips
(x) Hit on a waitress/waiter
(x) Taken pictures with a stranger
( ) Been to Busch Gardens
(x) Stayed in a hotel room with 3 other school mates
(x) Made a public speech
(X) Been on cable television
(x) Choreographed a dance
(X) Felt used
(X) Made a smoothie or milkshake
( ) Had fun at work
(x) Watched Desperate Housewives
(x) Watched a movie so often you could quote every word
(x) Listened to an NSYNC or Backstreet Boys CD
(x) Kept something from a past relationship
(x) Given someone else flowers
(x) Taken a foreign language
(x) Gotten to school at 6:15 in the morning

You are
[ ] short, under 5'0
[] 5'0 - 5'3
[x] 5'4 - 5'5
[ ] 5'6 -5'7"
[ ] 5'8" - 6'1"
[ ] tall 6'2 and up

NATURALLY
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] auburn
[x] brunette
[ ] dirty blonde/brownish
[ ] light brown
[x] dark brown
[ ] black
[ ] dont remember

[ ] blue-eyed
[x] brown-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ] hazel eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[ ] blue/green-eyed
[ ] blue/grey-eyed
[ ] they change colors

[x] glasses
[ ] contacts
[ ] neither
[ ] Both

Hair Length

[x] short hair
[ ] medium
[ ] long hair
[ ] mohawk

You can`t stand listening to? (what dont you like?)

[x] country
[ ] classical
[x] techno
[ ] oldies
[x] opera
[x] reggae
[ ] emo
[ ] 80's
[x] disco
[ ] metal
[ ] hardcore
[ ] rock
[ ] rap/hip-hop
[ ] r&b
[ ] classic rock

The pets you have HAD or have?

[x] cat
[x] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[ ] ferret
[x] bunny
[X] fish
[x] duck
[ ] horse
[x] bird
[ ] frog
[ ] hermit crab
[ ] prairie dog
[x] turtle
[x] hamster
[ ] snake
[ ] gerbil
[ ] guinea pig
[ ] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] chicken
[ ] sugar glider
[ ] mouse
[ ] none

Clothing Brands you like?

[ ] American Eagle
[ ] Dockers
[ ] Big n' Tall
[ ] Hollister
[ ] The Buckle
[ ] Abercrombie & Fitch
[ ] Wal-mart
[ ] Wet Seal
[ ] O'neill
[x] PacSun
[ ] Aeropostale
[ ] Dickies
[x] Roxy
[ ] Anchor Blue
[x] Guess
[ ] Hot Topic
[ ] Lucky
[ ] Champs
[ ] Salvation army/goodwill
[ ] other thrift stores
[X] if i like it i'll wear it
[ ] old navy
[ ] Nude... HAHA
[ ] Volcom
[ ] other
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] Victorias Secret

Your confessions:

[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I've collected comic books.
[x] I read and watch the news.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I don't like killing bugs.
[x] I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I cook well.
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I'm self conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] Gone out in public in your underwear.
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Egged a house/car.
[X] Ding dong ditched someone.
[ ] Crashed into a car.

Have you ever...

[ ] stolen a sign
[x] danced in the rain
[ ] proposed to anyone
[ ] went on a cruise ship
[ ] driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] been on a plane by yourself
[x] had surgery
[X] seen a movie more than 3 times
[X] been on stage
[ ] gotten a black eye
[x] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[ ] watched an entire baseball game on tv

Do you like...

[x] old movies
[x] musicals
[X] blasting music in the car
[x] doughnuts
[x] animals
[x] coffee

In 2005 You...

[x] broke a promise
[x] made a new friend
[x] fell in love - (like.. not love)
[ ] fell out of love (same as above)
[x] did something you swore you'd never to do.
[x] lied to my mom and/or dad
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] dissapointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] got arrested
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[X] changed your outlook on life
[X] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[ ] almost died
[x] given up something important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were.
[x] made a total fool of yourself
[x] met great people

the friday five.

2006-04-16T02:59:00.000+08:00

1. What is your favorite photo?
a photo of all of us doing a triangle during high school.

2. Who took the photo?
i think it was beff?

3. If you could photograph anything or anyone what/who would it be?
people on the street.

4. What makes a good photo?
originality.

5. Which do you prefer: digital or print?
digital :D

taken from the friday five.

p.s my inbox is now 100% squeaky clean! i had fun deleting unwanted emails.

sic friatur crustum dulce.

2006-04-14T14:01:00.000+08:00

don't you just wish you can turn back the time and correct your mistakes?

but i've learned to accept the past. i was bombarded with a lot of things i shouldn't know about and it made me cry so much (and loud too) i got tired of it and just shrugged it off. in just 5 minutes i was okay again and i didn't make a big fuss about it. the thought of it is still there obviously and it's not gonna go away and yes it's hard to forget, very hard but with the help of certain people, i gained back my sanity.

i've learned faithfulness when it's least needed. i've learned trust after i ate my own dust. if i learned all these before, we wouldn't have an end.

but i guess that's how it's meant to be.

there. so you can sing this song over and over again =]

no more sleepless nights
no more sad goodbyes
no more stupid fights
no more crazy lies
how you made me cry
should've said goodbye to you
no more pointless calls
no more playing games
no more feeling small
no more blame
how you made me cry
should've said goodbye to you
now i will be free
from a face i can no longer see
i guess love has no guarentee
it was never, never meant to be
how you made me cry
should've said goodbye to you

@>----}-------

2006-04-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

this never-ending episode will come to an end, i promise. yes, people are always in denial of the truth. our minds only perceive what we want to see. we're all selfish in some ways no matter who we are, either we're the good ones or the bad ones. and when we're angry and our hearts' in pain, we tend to say things, hurtful things that we think somehow could make us feel better and probably mitigate whatever that's making us feel so bad.

well im sorry, i did it a lot of times just because im one bloody selfish person.

amor ordinem nescit.

2006-04-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

For the broken hearts.

deal with it perhaps? but how?
-share your feelings.
-remember what's good about you.
-take good care of yourself.
-don't be afraid to cry.
-do the things you normally enjoy.
-keep yourself busy.
-give yourself time.

don't resort to drink, take drugs or hurt yourself because you're only masking it and it won't make you feel any better. let the healing begin ;]

taken from http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Basics/broken_hearted.htm

God Draws Near to Those With a Broken Heart

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18)

God has been near to me most of my life because I often have a broken heart. That said, I thank God for the tormentuous times in my life. Unshakable faith comes from having our faith shaken. What a comforting truth to know that God draws near to those with broken hearts. You may not realize that God is near, but He certainly is. Just because you don't feel God's presence doesn't mean that He's not there. We must trust the heart of God when we cannot see the hand of God at work.

God Wants Us to Have a Broken Heart

Yes, God wants us to have a broken heart.

"Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness" (James 4:8).

We are talking about two different types of broken hearts here: one that we choose to have, and then one that we have no control over. James 4:8 speaks of the type of broken heart that we choose to have. This is when we stop to consider all the lost sinners in this world who are headed for an eternal destruction in hell if they don't get saved. This is when we consider the poor and less fortunate of this world. This is when we stop to pray for OTHERS who are having problems and hardships. The Bible teaches that the way to draw near to God is to "be afflicted." Turn off the TV and the radio, think about someone who is less fortunate than you as you approach the Lord in prayer, and then God says He'll draw nigh unto you also. What a Saviour! God promises to meet us half way.

The Broken Heart God Doesn't Want Us to Have

The other type of broken heart is the one that comes upon us suddenly. This broken heart is when a loved one dies and is gone forever. This broken heart is when financial hardships force a family into bankruptcy or massive debt. This broken heart is when a marriage just doesn't seem to be working out. Everyone carries a heavy burden at times, some people all the time. Could you imagine being the parent of a quadriplegic child? Could you imagine having to care for that child your whole life? Many parents are doing just that. Could you imagine being paralyzed, stuck in a wheel chair all day for the rest of your life. I thought about Christopher Reeves often while he was alive. But you know, there's a lot of people just like him that receive little or no attention at all. Talk about a broken heart! We are so spoiled and blessed of God.

If your broken heart is because of something horrible that you did (a crime or something foolish you did), then you need to make it right with the person you hurt FIRST, then confess your sins to God. If you're wrong, you're wrong! Make it right!

"Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift" (Matthew 5:23,24).

If your devastated and sad because of a death in the family, then you have every right to mourn. Don't you allow anyone to tell you that you've mourned long enough, you take as long as it takes. It may take a year or two for you to recover from your loss... that is perfectly acceptable. The healing process takes time. It's been said "Time heals all wounds." I have found this to be true. We all respond to tragedy different but the usual response is at first DENIAL. We have a tendency to live in denial that something has actually happened (such as a death). We are in a state of shock for some time as we cannot believe what has happened. This may take a few months or even years. The next step in the healing process is to ACCEPT what has happened. This takes time, there are no shortcuts. We must be extremely patient and supportive of those who are going through this healing process. Some people are cruel and have little understanding. Once we have accepted the fact that we cannot do anything about spilt milk or water under the bridge, then we can truly begin to heal. That which does not defeat us can only make us stronger.

The Remedy for Any Broken Heart

God offers the first and the most important remedy for you to find healing through His son Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 declares that we have "peace" with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:14 declares that Jesus IS our peace, "For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us".

vale.

2006-04-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel shine,
Through the dark times even when I lose my mind.
But it feels like no one in the world is listenin',
And I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze, I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
But somehow I always know the right things to say.

I don't know what time it is,
Or who's the one to blame for this.
Do I believe what I can't see?
And how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause I can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the sound.
And just when I think I know, there she goes.

Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.

I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
And how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say I told you so,
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.

I don't know what time it is,
Or who's the one to blame for this.
Do I believe what I can't see?
And how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause I can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the sound.
And just when I think I know, there she goes.

Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.

And you can sing until there's no song left (song left)
And I can scream until the world goes deaf (goes deaf)
For every other word left unsaid,
You should've took the time to read the signs
And see what it meant (what it meant)
In some ways everybody feels alone,
So if the burden is mine then I can carry my own (carry my own)
If joy really comes in the morning time,
then I'm gonna sit back and wait until the next sunrise.

Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.

aurora australis.

2006-04-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

it's funny how you did things that made certain people suffer and then in the end you'll get the same heartache you caused earlier.

karma really bit me hard in the ass and as far as i can see, this wouldn't be over anytime soon.

my wishful thinkings multiplied by 2 today. im in dire need of a break from certain people.

:-*

2006-04-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

yupp. more surveys. it's 3 freakin a.m and i can't sleep. oh i knacked this one from kim.

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
nope. i think he moved to another country.

What would you do with 1000 plastic spoons?
umm keep them till i decide to have a party?

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
hoho i was a die hard fan of spice girls, ask mich and sar and they can verify to that.

What is the best thing about your current job?
i don't have a job.

Do you wish cell phone etiquette was required?
of course i do. it's really irritating to listen to them people talk loudly on the phone.

Are you against same sex marriage?
nope. i've nothing against it.

How have you been in the past week?
okay, just okay.

Where are you going on your next vacation?
it's supposed to be a surprise.

Quote a song lyric.
another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust *laughs*

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
old.

Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
yeah baby. from my bed to the table and chair. and the bin of course.

Do you like your parents?
most of the time.

What state/country are you from?
some state from the east.

Tell us about the last conversation you had?
was with my cousin grace. something about her sister.

Where do you see yourself in one month?
new house. haha.

What is your favorite smell?
pillow smell.

What is the time and the outside temperature at the moment?
3.59am. quite cold.

Have you ever done anything vindictive to your co-workers?
co-workers? i don't have any :s if i would then no lol.

Have you ever gone to therapy?
does retail therapy counts?

Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
nope.

Have you ever Toilet Papered someone's house?
haha no. but then again, don't they always do this in the states? i don't think ppl would do such thing here in m'sia.

Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
haha. HAHA.

Have you ever gone camping?
yeah.

Have you ever had a crush on your sisters friend?
well for starters, i would like to have a sister.

Have you ever had sex on the beach?
what do i look like to you, uncivilised?

Have you ever had a stalker?
oh yes.

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
when i was little? like reeeeaaaallllyyyy little. ahaha.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
yes of course.

Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
yupp. im the designated driver.

Have you ever been cheated on?
uh-huh.

Have you ever had sex with one of your Myspace friends?
no and i don't intend to.

Have you ever felt betrayed by your bestfriend?
yeah, primary school days i think.

Have you ever lied to your parents?
sadly yes.

Have you ever thrown up from working out?
never.

Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
yeah my fringe was baaaaad at that time.

Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
haha no.

Have you ever gotten so wasted you didnt know what was going on?
unfortunately yeah and it was so embarassing.

Have you not realized what you had until you lost it?
haha yeah.

click here! it's time to get a new baby. i have to get over my old love. boohoo.

*breathes in*

nyehhhhh. thanks mommy, thanks aaron.

p.s mich may, i really, really, really miss you.

noli nothis permittere te terere.

2006-04-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

i love this layout =] was feeling a little retro-ish today hence the result.

i hate the feeling of losing something that you love so much. it'll just keep on haunting you like there's no tomorrow. it wouldn't leave you alone and your heart won't be at ease just thinking about it.

and no im not expecting it to just walk back into my life. that's just pure impossible.

to think that nothing's going to come between us, that i'll always make sure that it'll be by myself at all times and then one day, someone, some evil, heartless creature slither through the gaps and then snatched it away. it was all so sudden i just couldn't think of any possible way to get it back.

missing you oh-so badly.

scream if you wanna go faster, baby.

2006-04-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

knacked from vilers.

1. Do you like chinese food?
yeah i do.

2. How big is your bed?
big enough to roll around restlessly.

3. Is your room clean?
kind of.

4. Laptop or desktop computer?
desktop. im done with laptop.

5. Favorite comedian?
ryan stiles from whose line.

6. Sleep with or without clothes on?
with.

7. Who do you sleep with every night?
that's for me to know and you to wonder about.

8. Do long distance relationships work?
sometimes.

9.How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
never.

10. Pancakes or french toast?
pancakes.

11. Do you like coffee?
so much.

12. How do you like your eggs?
beaten to death.

13. Do you believe in astrology?
nope. it's all crap.

14. Last person you talked to on the phone?
ervina.

15. Last person on your missed call list?
aaron.

16. What was the last text message you received?
umm that's private.

17. mcdonalds or burger king?
mcd.

18. Number of pillows?
two.

19. What are you hearing right now?
the apprentice playing on er's pc.

20. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
can't think of any right now.

21. What kind of jelly do you like on your sandwich?
blueberry?

22. Can you play pool?
yes.

23. Do you know how to swim?
yeah.

24. Favorite ice cream?
chocolate.

25. What color is your wallet?
pink and black.

26. Tell me a random fact:
i have someone who would slap me back to reality when i go overboard.

27. Ever play spin the bottle?
uhh no.

28. Ever attended a theme party?
yupp.

29. What is your favorite season?
winter.

30. Favorite quote?
aegroto, dum anima est, spes esse dicitur. (it is said that for a sick man, there is hope as long as there is life)

31. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
yesterday.

32. What time did you wake up this morning?
8am.

33. Best thing about winter?
christmas, pretty, snow, cold, snuggle.

34. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
never.

35. Name of your first pet?
rainbow.

36. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
i seriously have no idea. i have nothing against pirates.

37. What do you usually do on weekends?
sleep, read, eat.

38. What are you doing this weekend?
going to PAWS with my cg i think.

39. Are you desperate for anything right now?
yeah i wish someone would bring me on a joyride.

tum podem extulit horridulum.

2006-04-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

i received a message from an unknown through my ym and he/she said (well im guessing it's a she) something like this :
i don't think you are a suitable person for him. i don't think he likes you either so leave him alone. i like him very much so please don't get in my way.
the message wasn't exactly in pure english, it was more to the malaysian chinese style of speaking english. oookaay. im guessing him is my ex? yeah yeah whatever. if the message was meant to intimidate me, i don't think she did a good job ;] ninner ninner ninnnnerrrr. well you can have him if you want him so much. it's just the matter of if he wants you or not. if you like him so much then why don't you gather your vaginal juices and go talk to him? don't terrorise my life.

fabricati diem.

2006-04-01T13:32:00.000+08:00

SE assignment's extended til tuesday becos most of us can't figure out question 3 which requires us to combine c++ and normal distribution. damn SE midterm is next week and i've been burying my head in that unattractive, boring text book ever since thursday.

WHY can't he understand that she really loves him?! korean dramas are so twisted =/ and i can't help screaming at the lead actor for being so stupid (well technically i was screaming at the monitor) but korean boys are undeniably hot and funny kthxbi.

the usual kaki rummy is going hard rock cafe tonight and most probably going clubbing as well. no friends tonight =[ everyone's busy with things i can't do on the weekends and my usual girl friends are going out with their bfs. life was good being single. life is NOT good being single now. sigh im such a failure in this field.

aja aja! fighting! (no this is not latin)

2006-03-31T22:23:00.000+08:00

auddra introduced me to full house, a korean drama and now i can't seem to get my eyes off the damn monitor and i crack up every 2 minutes which makes me look really silly. the bad thing is, i picked up some korean words and i seemed to repeat it in conversations whenever i could.

SE midterm next week laaaaaa doinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
b-b-b-b-b-but nice worrrrrrrrrrr.

:( :( :(

aja aja fighting! ]=D heeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

habetis bona deum.

2006-03-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

i feel so productive today *pats back*

i've cleaned my room (not entirely clean but it doesn't look dirty =p) and stayed home all afternoon and studied SE. starbucks makes good coffee.. or so i think they do.

we saw that adorable guy again yesterday. he eats like an old man teehees. well at least we all know that he goes to church every sunday. we overheard him *blushes* =p

"excuse me cute guy, would you like to go to church with me?"

rofl anyways he's just an eye candy, im not interested exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark.

I SO CANNOT WAIT TO GO HOME and indulge in the comfort of my own bed, the endless channels on tv via cable, HOME COOKED FOOD (yes mom your cooking rocks), oh and especially the cars man, you shouldn't forget about the cars O.O i plan to come back late again next sem, extra hols for me tra la la...

OH OH OH! im going on a holiday (well for me not for mom haha cos she has to work) to *drumrolls* ________________! ISN'T THAT GOING TO BE SO EXCITING?!?!

ANTM : i cannot believe keri went out =/ she's such a beautiful doll! mollie sue is hot! too bad im not a guy haha.

the usual kaki nancy drew went out for steamboat with their bfs and some other bunch of people. when coming back la weii.

her pictures damn provoking la. i wonder what would happen if i were to just let you and her go another way together. i wonder what would happen if i never interfered. i wonder i wonder i wonder. i've learned that everything that happened, happens and will happen is all from the work of God. He planned everything right before we were born. well i guess He planned things this way and no one is to blame. it happens so that another thing could happen in the future. we're all learning lessons everyday. people make mistakes.

i make mistakes too.

=[

2006-03-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

it's not that i cant do it, i've had it all covered but i just couldnt let them see that.

i feel so low, stupid and useless right now. what's to become of me? what happened to the old me?

i hate to fail.

i've so much to say but i just couldnt find the exact words to explain.

i feel like crying now.

omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis.

2006-03-26T04:15:00.000+08:00

"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."
-Prov. 11:22

This verse compares a beautiful woman to a gold ring--something highly valuable that not everyone had in Bible times; something to be treasured and taken good care of; something precious. Such is a woman whom God has created--a beautiful woman made in His image! Worldly wisdom will tell you that, for a beautiful woman's body to be of maximum use, it should be shown off to everyone. On the contrary, God tells us that a lack of discretion is utterly wasteful, and that it is saving one's body for one's (future) spouse that grants maximum benefit from it!

When a gold ring is in a pig's snout, who will enjoy it? Who will say, "Wow, doesn't that pig look nice with that ring!" or "That ring is quite attractive!"? Now let's stretch our imaginations by pretending we're somewhere in Africa where men look better with gold rings in their ears. Now, when a man wears a gold ring in his ear, who benefits? Just the man? No, everyone who sees him! Everyone benefits from the aesthetic beauty of that gold ring when it is worn properly. And people will think highly of the beautiful gold ring as well. Likewise, a woman who shows discretion is a benefit to all in more ways than just aesthetic beauty, but a woman who shows no discretion is worthless and gets no positive attention.

But I think there's another comparison here: Men who lust after the woman who shows no discretion are the pig. Young males who haven't learn discipline yet are boys, and grown men who are thoroughly disciplined are men, but adults who lust without discipline are pigs--worse than boys or men, not even fit to be called human. This is quite rebuke to too many young men, even Christian men, I fear.

This is also a warning to women: When you show off your body, not only do you rid yourselves of the company of men godly enough to flee temptation, but you also attract pigs--typically the lost, the men who neither know nor show to others the love of Chirst, the men who lust without conviction and thus lust seemingly without limit, those who treat women as meat, etc. etc. Do you want to be a stud magnet or a pig magnet? "Pigs" exist in a variety of age groups: from probably around age 8 to age 50+ on average (not the exteremes, but the averages, in my rough estimation). Granted, those most active in pig-like thought and behavior are the teens and young adults, but trust me, young boys and middle-aged men generally do lust when the opportunity for them to do so comes about! Why encourage them to treat women in this way? Why put yourself in a pig's snout when you could be enjoyed and treasured by a loving man of God instead? The clothes you wear make a HUGE difference in how you are treated and looked at by men so please dress modestly!

taken from http://www.xanga.com/not_so_daily_devotionals

p.s she is indeed a pig. look at all her pictures.

age. fac ut gaudeam.

2006-03-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

is it possible to like someone so much til now?

~~i'll fix breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper for you. i'll attend to you when you're sick. i'll hug you tightly when you're down. i'll kiss you each night before you sleep.~~

okay i should stop being mushy.

amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur.

2006-03-19T02:32:00.000+08:00

you know that bit people said about being drunk? the part where they will tell lame jokes and then accidentally spill out their deepest and most probably darkest secrets and then start weeping and then barfing all over the place? okay maybe not barfing. the point is, being drunk makes you look really disgusting it's embarassing.

i've been through that phase.

i ended up knowing things i shouldn't know. i ended up knowing things that left a big hole in my heart. i ended up trying to live with it till the end of time.

i still couldn't accept the fact that i fell down and bruised myself so badly that even when i had those stitches it didn't really help. that nothing you and i could do to heal.

i gave up and each and everytime i forgot that i wasn't alone; that i have a faithful friend who will always nudge my heart and offer a helping hand silently, the friend i had, i have and will always have.

but i turned away because i was selfish. i wanted more.

i've always wanted more.

life's too short for me to satisfy you. life's too short for me to find love with you. life's too short for me to wait.

but life's never too short to love the Lord.

i'll laugh again one day. just you wait.

angel.

2006-03-19T02:20:00.000+08:00

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

<3.

2006-03-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

paramore is love.

luctor et emergo.

2006-03-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

responsibility. im being tested over again. it's me alone against it and there's no one here to help. okay im lying. there are so many people around me, offering their hands to me but i just can't accept any. im just, afraid. im afraid of a lot of things. i hate the feeling of knowing that you failed doing something. i've had enough failures in life and i don't intend to make more failures out of my failures. there's still a long way to go and there are still millions of potholes on the road. i wanna make the whole journey worthwhile and enjoy what life has to offer me. it'll get bumpier in the future and i gotta hold on tight.

i gotta dig for my 'the purpose driven life' book. it's time for some therapy.

stercus accidit.

2006-03-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

i just wanna make things clear here.

1. i am NOT interested in any guys.
2. i am NOT interested in having any kind of relationship with any guys.
3. if you're thinking of getting intimate with me, FORGET IT.
4. if i were to compliment any guys, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I AM INTERESTED.

in some ways, im still attached to the past.

si fecisti nega.

2006-03-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

once again, the clown disappeared for the weekend leaving me with no one to disturb while playing nancy drew. by the way i completed 'the ghost dogs of moon lake'.

it's funny how some people re-appear all of a sudden when they have been missing in action for quite some time. perhaps they have evil motives?

and ~~they~~ ~~she~~ they did.

i can't believe she actually did that.

hodie mihi, cras tibi.

2006-03-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

it's a friday.

and it's the lent season.

it means no meat on friday so i texted mom just to be sure. she replied that it's my choice whether to follow or to not. i think it isn't an obligation but something you do as a sign of respect. i guess im old enough to make the decision. i choose to respect. no meat on fridays for me.

i thank God for my wonderful family. without them, i wouldn't have the courage to stand up again. there's still a long way to go. i'm with you.

tarditas et procrastinatio odiosa est but im still doing it over and over again =/ when will i learn?